I had a wonderful visit with my mom last weekend. My two aunts were there, and Matt and I went down to see mom and dad too. The first day we just visited with Mom when she was awake, and shopped with my aunts while Mom slept. We had dinner at their house, we had a pork roast and veggies and then a cheesecake for dessert.
First I gave her a hair a trim, because she wanted one. Then we fixed it some, and she needed a nap. My aunts and I went to Clearwater Beach. It was a really nice time together and we all swam a bit in the water. Then onto McDonalds for a snack. We had plans to eat at Carrabbas for dinner, so we didn't want to spoil our appetites.
Mom was awake when we got home from dinner, and she stayed awake for a long time. We watched some episodes of "Friends" because Mom loves to watch that show. They have the series on DVD. We all had some more cheesecake, too. Mom was cracking jokes and being cute. She sort of acts like a kid, she is entertained easily and laughs a lot.
The next day my aunts were going to the airport to go home. We said goodbye, which wasn't fun. I stayed with Mom while Dad took the aunts to the airport. Mom and I were alone so we had some nice time by ourselves. That was the best hour and a half with her in awhile! We talked a little, then she was tired, so I said go ahead and nap. She wanted me to nap with her, so she moved over and I layed down. Then she covered me up with the sheet and smiled. It was a very precious time with her. Once she startled, looked over and said "oh I was just making sure you're still here." I said, I am here and I put my arm around her so she'd know I was there. We stayed that way for some time. It made me feel at peace, loved by my mom and I knew she felt my love for her too. I still feel that now, almost a week later.
She is progressively going downhill. First, she had trouble talking. Then, she started being confused a lot. She is very confused still and gets things mixed up. Now, she cannot feed herself unless it's finger food and even then needs a bit of help. Dad is taking good care of her. He gives her sponge baths now because she can't get into the bathroom anymore since she can't walk at all or even stand.
This is extremely heartbreaking, and the waiting for someone to die is just awful. I love her with so much love, that it cannot be expressed in words. Only with tears now. And sometimes tears with laughter. I miss her already, because we can't have deep talks like we used to. But I'm thankful that still I can hear her sweet voice whenever I want to or need to. When I'm there I can still wrap my arms around her and kiss her over and over as much as I want. I can tell her I love her and she says "I love you too, Pumpkin Pooh." Which is what she always calls me. It's been my special nickname from her all of my life. These moments are wonderful, and precious, and yet heartbreaking.
