Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Monday, November 8, 2010

Dancing with Jesus

Today is the one year anniversary of my mom's passing away. I like to call it her "birthday to heaven". She is whole and happy. She is dancing with Jesus, praising the Lord eternally. I miss her more every day, not less. Knowing she is with God helps a little but doesn't fill the whole left in my heart since she left. I love her forever whether we are together on earth or not.

My dad came up yesterday to be with me for today, which was helpful. He even brought gifts, her purse and wallet, and also her personal Bible. I was overjoyed to receive those priceless gifts!

Today my dad and I decided to celebrate her life, and her birthday to heaven. We went to a lake that she liked, and tossed flowers into the water, and released a balloon into the air over the lake. I wrote her a letter, and attached it to the balloon. We watched it fly for several minutes until it was completely out of view. It was actually a beautiful tribute to her life and we  had tears in our eyes. We started talking about her life, and her 3 month illness. There were many good memories, many times of laughter and lots of tears during that illness. Memories that will stay with me forever! Then we ate her favorite candy, York peppermint patties.

I am sad today, but I am sad every day that I don't have her here with me. But I also have the blessed assurance that I will be reunited with her someday, and will live forever in heaven with her. I look forward to that so much, but until then I must live my life in a way that would please her and make her proud. I live every day leaning on my Jesus, living for Him. I try to be a good mom, and daughter to my dad. She would love that!

I know she is dancing with Jesus, running free and spending time with her own mom, happy and waiting for my arrival. I love her so very much, always and forever.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Almost a Year Now

Well, it's been one of those years. On Monday, it will be one year since my mom was "birthed to Paradise" and took her journey to heaven. It's been a long, hard year. There have been many tears, and lots of empty sadness in my heart. I will never be the same, even when the wound heals there will be a hole forever in my heart. When I get to heaven and reunite with my sweet Mommy, then I will be whole again. I will have all of my loved ones with me and we'll celebrate our Lord together forever. Until then, I miss her with a depth of sadness that cannot be put into words.

One year ago today I went down to see her one last time. On the 5th they told my dad she would die on that day. On the 6th she was still hanging on, so we took a drive to try to see her. I got to hold her hand, kiss her and talk in her ear even though she could not respond. She was sleeping in a very deep sleep, getting ready to meet her Lord and Savior. We had to leave the following afternoon to get home and be with my autistic son, so I didn't have much time. I slept for maybe 1 1/2 hours by her side then stayed up the rest of the time, watching her and speaking softly to her. I guess it was not the Lord's will for me to be with her when her time came, because she hung on while I was there and after. The following morning I called to check on her, and was on the phone when she took her last breath on the 8th of November. It's still hard to think about. I'm still trying to sort through my feelings. I'm still missing a piece of my heart. My dad is coming tomorrow to be with me through Monday for the one-year anniversary of her birth to heaven.

The kids have been great as well. My aunt has become my confidante. I have lots of family and friends who have prayed for me. I know because I feel them. I know because I feel His arms around me all the time.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Facebook Giveaway


I have 187 fans on my Facebook Fan Page, and when I hit 200 I will be drawing a name to win my giveaway. Fans have been asking what the giveaway will be, but I have been rather elusive in my answer. I am finally revealing the secret prize, which is.....

Your choice of any item $5 or under from my mattscraftywife Artfire Shop!

This includes any Christmas stocking ornament, and my cup cozy/coasters. ANY item that is $5 or under can be the prize. When I draw the name, using, I will notify the winner on my fan page. If they don't respond within 48 hours, I will draw a different name. The winner will be posted here after they respond also.

This giveaway is for fans of my Facebook Page only, so come on over and become a fan and be eligible for this awesome giveaway! The name drawing will happen as soon as I reach 200 fans, only 13 more to go!